I started Mommyclucker 1 year after Samuel, my first child was born.

I vividly recalled the anticipation I had prior to delivery and the thought of finally being able hold him in my arms.

 

Every night, before I slept, I would think of all the great plans I had for him and all the little memories we would share together. I thought of all the dos and don’ts of disciplining and the work I’ll put in to raise him to become a fine young man.

 

I had it all figured out. Or so I thought.

 

There were so many times when I wasn’t sure if I were doing the right thing.  There were just too many variables and outcomes to every action that made me both excited and worried in equal measure.

 

To be pregnant is a beautiful gift, but at the same time, the fear of the unknown does creep into our lives. As a mom, I often ask whether I have done enough for my children, are we over-prepared, under-prepared or sometimes, not prepared at all!  

 

Now I am a proud mom to two beautiful boys. As Samuel enters toddlerhood, I started to realize the importance to up my game and step up in the areas of disciplining, parenting and fostering a bond with him. Levi, my younger child, on the other hand gave me a chance to undo some of the mistakes I made with Samuel.

 

My children often remind me of my own childhood. In fact, a lot of times, I will catch myself emulating the way my parents had brought me up… speaking in the same tones as them, using words they used on me and even exacting the same disciplined methods.

 

Not all these are pleasant or culturally relevant now. It takes a lot of self-reflection to set myself on a path to try to connect and understand my sons better.    

 

Sometimes, I recall fond memories I had with my late father, especially the little things he did for me, which contributed significantly to my development as a person. I then understand how important our actions are and the need to be thoughtful when it comes to developing a relationship with them. A small but meaningful action could mean the world to them.

 

Motherhood brought me on a journey of constant self-evaluation, research & learning. It helped me find my purpose, digging deep and revealing the experiences that shaped me... both good and bad.

 

I realized that there is no such thing as a cheat code or a fixed way or method to successful parenting. There will be great days and not so great ones.  Mistakes could be corrected, while successes, replicated. The important thing is to develop some form of self-realization.

 

Parenthood is an evolving process and a lifelong journey. It’s not a sprint. Pace yourself. It is not just hitting milestones for our children, it is also an enormous leap of faith coupled with constant self-development for every parent.

 

I see parents struggling with chaos at home, enduring screaming and disrespect. I have been there. Sometimes I feel that I am still there.   

I do empathise but at the same time, feel humbled when after learning that there are no bad kids, just bad parenting.

 

I hope that I could share some of my successes as well as the learnings from my failures so that as a community, we could become better parents… sooner rather than later.